'Extra' Surgery

Just got home from my appt with the plastic surgeon.

He is investigating the option of removing my current tissue expander and replacing it with a 'taller' one, that will stretch the tissue further down on my chest.

When the expander was put in, it is mostly deflated. I'm sure they try to position it as accurately as possible, but no matter what, it is a balloon that gets filled at intervals to stretch the skin and muscle - so of course where the stretch goes the most will also have to do with the elasticity of my tissue. So in my case, it expanded more upward than downward, which pulled the scar out of alignment with my other breast. So if he attempted to put an implant in where the tissue is stretched now, I would end up with a very bizarre rack. Probably not much more bizarre than I'm dealing with now though but hopefully we can improve it.

Anyway, my other option is to skip the implant altogether and have a breast built out of tissue from my stomach. It is an extensive and painful surgery and one I'm not really willing to consider. I think that my ego is in check enough that I would rather have a weird looking boob than hack into other perfectly sound parts of my body to help make up what is a completely aesthetic reason.

Honestly, my boobs didn't look that great before all this cancer stuff started, and so I don't feel the burning need to hack up other parts of my body in order to end up with some perfect rack. I had talked to a couple of other people who've had the 'tummy tuck' option and they both told me that if they could go back and make the choice again, they wouldn't choose it.

So it's kind of drag but it's an extra surgery because I would have to leave the new implant in for 4 - 6 months or so before the 'real' reconstruction. However, I think I would prefer this to having my stomach cut open.

Anyone else have any opinions on this? I know it would be hard to put yourselves in my shoes - but I'd love to hear what you ladies have to say about my thought process. I asked the plastic surgeon if I was being unreasonable about REALLY not wanting the 'other' kind of surgery and he didn't think so especially because he was examining all my other scars and realized that I am not an easy healer - my scars are vivid and wide so he realizes by cutting other parts of my body, I would just really be scarring it up a lot.

On another note, every time I go there, he looks at my remaining breast and pinches the skin underneath and holds it up higher on my chest and shakes his head and laments my giant sagging boob. I wish he'd get over - I'm 40 for God sake! I told him 'THAT'S WHAT BRAS ARE FOR'. Of course, I think he's just worried about me - I think that being a plastic surgeon there is a LOT of pressure on them for perfection as cosmetic procedures are costly and the women having them done demand perfection. I doubt he's used to my 'AH, good enough' approach. Not that I would refuse a lift if he offered it - but I just don't care enough about it.

As long as whatever I end up with fits into a bra that I can stuff if it isn't exactly equal, and my clothing looks normal, I don't really care much about the underneath if it will avoid extensive surgery and scars.