I'm officially back in the swing of things

How can I tell? I'm awake at 5am thinking about work. Not in a bad way - I seem to have overcome my initial overwhelming crying every day freakout period. Of course, it was unfortunate that had to happen for many reasons, but the main one being that every day when I come home from work, Cam asks me if I cried today. Irritating!

So last weekend we went to the movies. We saw 50/50 and Moneyball. 50/50 is the one with the guy who has cancer and the movie trailers show him trying to use that angle to pick up chicks. EXCELLENT movie! However, it was an emotional ride for me. These comments are not spoilers because my reaction throughout the movie was not related to the events occurring in the movie itself, but just because they were all so familiar and since I really didn't have too much issue going through cancer treatment itself, I certainly didn't expect to get emotional watching a fictional character go through it.

But, alas, I did - and once I started it was SOOOO hard to stop. And it was embarrassing because it wasn't just tears streaming down my face, but full on sobbing that is hard to do quietly. Cam was trying to comfort me but it just wouldn't stop! I have theorized to a few people that in my real-life situation, all I see and know of the reactions of my friends and family are what they choose to show me. In the movie, they have the ability to show the background stories of friends and family that don't involve the main character and gave me some thought to what other people around me must have been going through as well.

I know for a fact that the scene where he and his friend were shaving his head (also in the trailer so no spoiler there), was very relatable - Cam was cringing because that is the one part of my treatment that really hit him hard. You may remember that post describing how Cam was really affected by the head shaving because that's when it hit him that this cancer thing was a reality. Which is weird because by that time I had already had my breast removed - that should have been a big hint. HA HA. So that tells you something about our sex life if he didn't notice that... KIDDING geez....

In reality, it shows that Cam really didn't care about me losing a breast and while he does pretty much ignore the fake the one in breast-related activities (meaning, him grabbing mine not for any 'fun' reason but just because he knows that it irritates the hell out of me). I have discussed this issue with some close friends so believe me, I know that I am not alone. Men are fascinated with boobs whether or not it relates to sex. But I don't really blame him for this since I basically have no feeling whatsoever on that side, so why bother? Meaning, why would he bother if it doesn't irritate the hell out of me? Which of course is his goal in life on any given day. Luckily (or stupidly), I love him in spite of this. HA HA HA.

I met a woman recently who will remain anonymous in all ways for obvious reasons. Within minutes of first speaking with her, I learned that she had a breast reduction which has caused her nipples to be permanently erect and what's worse, they aren't symmetrical so her husband calls her Marty Feldman. I loved the fact that she would share this with a basic stranger. And also told her that if I HAD 2 nipples and they pointed in different directions, I know for a fact that my husband would also call me Marty Feldman. He just totally would no doubt about it. Permanently erect nipples! Whadda ya know about that!

But, I have digressed quite thoroughly from the movie...... I eventually did stop sobbing but I was quite exhausted afterward. But not too exhausted not to sneak into the other movie for free afterward.... YUP - we're movie stealers, what can I say.... We don't get out to the movies much so whenever there is a situation where there are TWO movies out worth seeing, we do it. It's so easy at our local theater. There are some in the neighbourhood where this task would be much harder, but this one is easy-peasy. And of course my theory is that probably all the workers there know we've done it but the 17-year-olds making minimum wage likely don't give a crap. Plus, Cam is 6'3" and my seem somewhat intimidating to a high-schooler....

That reminds me of a story from years ago when Cam injured himself at ball. We were sure his pinky was dislocated and one guy said he normally would put it back but Cam is a 'big guy' and he didn't want to be near when someone tried to relocate it. Of course, like all of us, Cam is somewhat bigger than he was 10 years ago, but only one size! And I found it weird because I never really thought of him as a 'big guy' - probably because he's slender. Of course he would say 'WAS' slender - which is a bunch of crap because he is still in fantastic shape, but he's almost like a woman the way he always thinks he's too fat. But in reality, 6'3" IS pretty big..... and we're very glad they guy didn't try to relocate the pinky because as it turns out, it was broken. So the guy probably WOULD have had to run for his life in that situation!

Wow, Cam seems to be a main character in this blog..... I think this was meant to be about the movies....

Oh yeah, the second movie we saw was Moneyball with Brad Pitt. It was good too but the first movie was better. I will be curious to know if any other cancer survivors react the same way I did in watching 50/50.

On another note, I am curling this year. My own team has pretty much folded due to injuries so I was happy to get a call from a ladies team who needed a player. So I'm curling Tuesday nights & doing very well so far - except my curling muscles haven't been used for quite some time so my massage therapist is getting a lot of custom these days.

I think that's it. Hell, I think that's MORE than enough!