My new nephew

Jennifer had Baby Iain on Sunday May 15 at 12:46pm. He was born at home with midwives present at a weight of 9 lbs 1 oz (4.15kg).

Chatted with Jenn today - she said the baby was 'brilliant' but the labour was the worst pain she's ever felt in her life. So everything was normal from what I've heard.... LOL

Here are some pics! https://picasaweb.google.com/jennsbow/IainBornMay15th2011#

Improving my Attitude

OK, I have to admit that I have been less that enthusiastic about my return to work. I have been bitching & moaning & pissing to anyone who asked me. (not about the work itself, just having to be there instead of in California playing waterball....)

I then started wondering why I would have that crappy attitude about something as simple as going to work when I had a great attitude all through my cancer treatment. And as I said to a friend on the weekend, 'going to work HAS to be better than cancer, right?'. So I've decided to put a positive spin and attitude on my return to work as well.

And this morning I was cleaning out some old emails and came across some that will help me do this. The following story is one my mom sent me because she said 'it fit me to a T'. It made me cry and was one of the nicest things she has ever said to me (and naturally there have been many... )

Attitude

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. 'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.' So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. 'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.' So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. 'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.' So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. 'YAY!' she exclaimed. 'I don't have to fix my hair today!'

So I am going to use this example to make the best out of returning to work - like the good things of seeing my awesome colleagues who are all great people, and also the bigger paycheque! And the fact that being at work means I don't have cancer! So I have now given myself an attitude adjustment - my own 'kick in the ass'

I have another great email to share but I'll save it for next time.....

Officially back to work.

Yesterday was my first day back at work. Well... half-day anyway. I'm on a 'graduated return to work' for a couple of months where I add more time over the weeks until I'm up to fulltime.

It is strange being back at work - and I have to admit I did start to feel somewhat overwhelmed during a meeting today, however, I added my 'new perspective' to it to make myself feel better.

Basically, I'm thinking - hell, if I can get through cancer treatment, that I can definitely get through this process of getting back to work. This is nothing compared with what I've already gone through - and of course is necessary for me to put the cancer experience behind me.

Am I happy to be at work? No. But honestly - who is, other than dolphin trainers?

I consider myself very very lucky to have had the benefits & support from my employer that I have had and so feel that it is only fair to do my best to return to work in an efficient (yet healthy for me) manner. I don't plan on dragging it out.

The 11th hour.....

Meaning, tomorrow is the big day of my 'Return to Work'..... ACK!

I haven't even told you all the story of my 'Return to Canada' from Scotland and here I am already 'Returning to Work'. ACK!

So, my trip to Scotland was fabulous - most notably for the fact of seeing my ever-so-pregnant but not for long sister-in-law Jennifer (who actually is due today however there is so far no sign of said baby arriving as yet). We had lots of quality time together and I really enjoyed getting to know her other half & his mother. I had already done most of the 'tourist' type things when I was in Scotland in 1996 (my first honeymoon - but that's a whole other story). So this was 'family time'. Although that didn't stop us from going up Arthur's seat. I know - that sounds so weird, doesn't it? But what it means is that 'Arthur's Seat' is the name of this sort-of mountain near Holyrood Palace and the top of it offers a fabulous view of the city. So it was a beautiful spring day and Jennifer was feeling up for it so we actually hiked up this hill. Me and my 8 3/4 months pregnant companion..... sadly, she was faring much better than me - But despite that - and many of my other best efforts - no baby arrived on my watch.....

Anyway, my out to Scotland, I had window seats all the way. The ride home was aisle seats for me. So my row had a largish teenager at the window, a little old lady in the middle seat and then me on the aisle. About 2 hours into the flight, the lady got up for the restroom and then, in broken English, asked me to move to the middle seat. See, I am the kind of person who would give up my seat on a bus for someone who is old, or pregnant or disabled.... but I learned I am NOT the kind of person who will give up my aisle seat on a 9 hour plane ride for someone old - especially when there are 7 hours left in the flight. She was trying to wangle her way into a seat in the row behind me because her daughter & granddaughter were there. But there was a man in the aisle seat there and I guess he probably didn't want to move to a middle seat either - so she figured he would be willing to move to another aisle seat one row up and if only I would move to the middle, she could sit on the aisle with her family.

Admittedly, there was some guilt attached to my decision - but who wants to sit in a middle seat for 7 hours? She certainly didn't so why would I??? Then she asked the flight attendant about changing seats and was told there were extras so if she found one she liked she could move there. So she scoped the plane, and obviously found an empty seat because she came back to me and asked ME to move to the other seat she found! I refused again. Guilt factor ramping up but I stuck to my guns, thinking that my 5'7" frame more needed an aisle seat than hers did....

So in the end, she moved to the other empty seat which was a bonus for me and my other row-mate as we had no one between us anymore. And the EXTRA bonus is that at the end of the flight during the descent, the guy who was sitting in the row behind (the one she tried to convince to move to my row with me) got air sick and puked 3 times into the bags provided. So I was really glad I hadn't crammed myself into a middle seat in order to sit next to a guy who would be puking......

So I arrived around 2pm on Wednesday (which was 10pm Scotland time) - and the trick to beating the jetlag is to stay up & go to bed at a normal time. So Cam took me to flyball practice where I was dead on my feet but knew it was for a good cause - especially because I had stupidly committed to running Cooper at the flyball tournament on the weekend. But it did help me with the jetlag as I had no problem sleeping through the night & was pretty much ok after that.

Thursday night I went to my TOPS meeting, Friday night I had a double-header of slo-pitch then Saturday I ran flyball all day (for the 2nd time in my life - the first with one of my own dogs). I was not only exhausted from all this - but also sore and injured. My muscles were MAD. There was no thought of me doing the same on Sunday as per the original plan. I was pretty much useless all day on Sunday. I was so tired Saturday night that I woke up in overtime and had no idea the predators had tied the game up with less than a minute to go.

So today was my last day of freedom - but I got an interesting phone call from my 'return to work' guy. My doctor had told me to go back to work half time for 2 months when I finally do go. So I planned for that. But then THIS guy called me today to explain that Return to Work schedules are usually more graduated - which actually makes a lot more sense than what I had scheduled based on the doctor's recommendation.

So instead of starting half-time tomorrow, I am doing more like 1/3 time for a couple of weeks, then moving up to almost half-time, then 2/3 then 3/4 etc. until I am accustomed to working closer to full-time hours. So that is actually a much smarter plan - I hadn't realized that there was an option for this. I just assumed that since the doc said 1/2 time, that's what I had to do. This guy explained that doctors are not usually extremely specific - they will often just say 'graduated return to work' with no specific hours identified. So they go with their own info as long as it doesn't contradict the doctor's (like trying to make me work MORE hours than the doctor recommended). I'm happy about this - it seems more logical. And less stressful. And I'm not talking about the stress of actually working - I'm talking about the stress of realizing that I have to 'get back to normal'. That my 'life of leisure' is over..... my trial retirement has drawn to a close. But now it is closing JUST a little more gradually to make it that much more palatable.

But now it is 11:15 - and I have to go to bed - because I have to work in the morning!!! This is still blowing my mind and freaking me out a little.

But, that's life! Here I go - getting busy living!!!

Scotland

Here I am in Scotland and to you folk, depending on what time stamp shows up on this entry, you will think I am doing the usual trick of posting in the middle of the night.... but alas - it is 8:15am here.

For my time here, this practically IS the middle of the night as my jetlag time adjustment seems to keep me up until 2:30 or 3:30am and sleep in until 10:30 or 11am.... but not so today. (the first part is true but not the second part.

Oh yeah - HAPPY EASTER!!!

Today is looking like a gorgeous sunny spring day - which is good because yesterday it pissed with rain until the late afternoon. But otherwise the weather here has been good. No rain to speak of and some lovely sunshine.

We went to Rosslyn Chapel on one of the sunshiny days. Actually, it was a gloomy damp day when we left but just out of town the clouds thinned and -voila- fabulous afternoon for the visit. Rosslyn Chapel has been around for over 400 years but it wasn't really all that well-known until Dan Brown featured it in THe DaVinci Code. Before that, they received around 10,000 visitors per year. The yeara after the book came out, they got 170,000 visitors!!! Now they are getting about 130k per year.... Turns out it was a great way to get the restoration sped up since they charge £7.50 to get in (I think the exchange rate is just over 1.5 these days - so about $11.00 CDN)

Otherwise I haven't really been doing too much 'touristing'.... Of course that is not why I came - I'm here to visit with Jennifer & Greig and try to add some level of entertainment / comfort to their last days of freedom before the baby arrives. As promised, I have been doing my part to encourage the baby's arrival before I leave. Although she doesn't want to eat a hot curry due to heartburn - but I do often put my mouth up to her belly and tell the baby to come out and meet his Auntie..... So far, no luck. Cam thinks that method is a sure way to make he doesn't arrive early - he thinks I probably scared him into hiding.

I think today I will convince Jenn to take me to the Royal Mile. I saw it 15 years ago when I was here (also when I did mostly all the usual tourist things anyway so now I can see the 'real' Edinburgh). But it would be cool to start at the castle & work my way down to see the closes etc. But my expectations are realistic - Jennifer is due in exactly one week and her mobility & speed are rather limited. It won't be a whirlwind tour, that's for sure....

They live a very healthy lifestyle in this household - both in fitness and eating habits - which suits me fine as I have been able to stick to my plan. I have probably lost another 5 or 6 pounds since the surgery so I'm curious to see what the plastic surgeon will say now (I see him upon my return home). Of course, other than that he wants me to have a nipple..... that's standard.... but if he notices my further weight loss.

Will keep you posted (literally) if a baby decides to show up while I'm here....

My last hurrah....

It's back to work for me the first week of May. To squeeze in one more trip before my 'freedom' ends, I am off to Scotland on Monday to see my dear sister-in-law who is about to have her first baby! (due May 2) I'm hoping for an early delivery...... I'll read up on things to feed her to put her into labour early....!

Just as my plane takes off on Monday afternoon, Cam will be finishing his first day of work at his new job as a Warehouse Supervisor at Pharmasmart. It's located in Cloverdale - for the first time in a very long time Cam won't have to cross a bridge to get to work. It has a pension plan, plus RSP matching and decent vacation time.

I am getting skinny!!! OK, well, maybe skinny is pushing it a little but certainly on the road to it. Last night I went out with Suzanne and she said she needed to take our traditional photo of the two of us - so she did and when I saw it I realized I had no double chin. It has been a long time since that happened.

On another topic, I had been totally confused about some foods as I had decided I wanted to eat healthy choices and soy products and ground flaxseed are in the 'superfoods' categories. But they also have phytoestrogens and the paperwork handed out at the cancer clinic lists all the foods with phyoestrogens (plant estrogens) but then goes on to say that there isn't much research on the effect of these foods on certain breast cancer patients and so to consult with your medical professionals.

So I tried to talk to my oncologist but he wasn't much help. He said eat soy in moderation but I hadn't asked him about flaxseed. So then I phoned the cancer agency again and asked the flaxseed question and the pharmacy reported back that hormone positive patients shouldn't eat ground flaxseed due to the estrogen but that flaxseed oil is ok. This frustrated me because I really WANT to eat flaxseed and I read a study online that said that the weak estrogens in the soy & flax will help my Tamoxifen (cancer pill) to work better. So in my frustration & desperation, I emailed the organization who did the Run for the Cure. Since they raise money for research and I want to put in a suggestions for them to do research on the foods, I emailed them.

They actually emailed the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation and a registered dietician answered my question! And the answer is that new research HAS been done and the info I received before was out-of-date. A new booklet was published last August called A Nutrition Guide for Women with Breast Cancer and says that up to two servings per day of soy products is safe as is 1 - 2 TBSP of ground flaxseed. YAY! I guess things are really getting back to 'normal' for me.... it's a weird feeling but, as Red said in Shawshank, you either get busy living or get busy dyin'...... I intend to get busy living!!!!

My first post-treatment ball game!

Tonight I played ball for the first time in a LONG time on my fabulous slo-pitch team the Crazy Dutch Bastards. Only half a game - we have lots of players so we all have to share playing time - but it felt good to get back out there. I even got a hit! I had to wait until now because the plastic surgeon said no running for a month after surgery - so I didn't - and let me tell you, the wait was BRUTAL because I LOVE running.... . I know - sarcasm doesn't translate well in writing....

Well, the ugly truth of return to work is upon me - a couple more weeks of freedom and then, back to the grind. Well, half time anyway for a couple of months. The good news is that I'll get to wear all my new work clothes that I bought in Palm Springs. And more good news is that I am continuing to lose weight - so those clothes are going to look better & better!

I have spurts of motivation and have been doing a few 'spring cleanup' kinds of chores around the house - but I also still take naps. I haven't figured out if it's because I have to or because I can. I always did love me a long nap....

I'm posting in the middle of the night. I'm not really sure why. After the game, we went out to the pub for dinner as it was one of my teammates' 40th birthdays. To celebrate, I brought a bottle of Crown Royal to the game. A bunch of the team had shots and of course I also partook. Hadn't eaten since breakfast so a few shots of CR are very efficient on an empty stomach. Got home at 10pm and went straight to bed. I'm not sure 'passed out' is the terminology in this case, but it MIGHT be..... But then I woke up at 2:40 and now I can't sleep so here I am.

Today I used a sewing machine. (one of those afore-mentioned chores). I shortened some curtains - by myself!!! Of course, if I didn't have mum-in-law threading the machine, I probably would still be sitting there. But it did bring back memories of high school when I sewed myself some 'Hammer pants' that had stripes. And as a happy coincidence, the stripes lined up properly on the sides (definitely not planned - I'm not that meticulous) - and my sewing teacher gave me a high grade because of that. For those of you who know what Hammer pants are, welcome to middle age. For those that don't - they are baggy pants with the crotch at the knees. I wonder if the waist of those pants would fit one of my thighs these days.....

I really don't have much else to say. My treatment is done, my boobs are done, I'm able to run now (against my better judgement - or should I say my 'laziness' judgement). Now I just have to focus on getting fit. For real! It sounds awful, I know. But what can you do when you live in a shoe? (eat sole) OK, that's it - now I know it's time to log off.... Good night!