Good news on a Bad day....

So yesterday I saw a specialist to make a re-start on addressing some 'female issues' that I had made a start on last year before I discovered the lump. Those issues were laid to rest for 6 months of chemo - but now they are back with a vengeance and I need help with them.

So I went there and was completely freaked out and shocked to learn that the first thing he is going to do is biopsy my uterus for cancer. He described how breast cancer and uterine cancer are very similar with similar triggers - and also that the oral drug I take daily increases the risk of uterine cancer. OK - he also went on to describe how there could be many other reasons why I have the issues I do, but since I just had cancer, it seems logical to rule that out first. Of course, I'm no idiot - I am happy to rule out cancer - but after what I've just been through, hearing 'potential cancer' again really put my world into a whirl. Last biopsy for that reason wasn't the result I was hoping for.

During the appointment I was shaky and on the verge of a meltdown. Even though my logical brain recognizes the intelligence of the process - and also recognizes that I had these issues long before any cancer problems - and I have a family history of these issues - and I just had six months of chemo - so I really do KNOW he isn't going to find any cancer in there..... BUT - I think it would only be human nature to have this worrying doubt of 'what if'. So the story is that he puts a camera in my uterus to take a look on Monday (yup - the 27th. he wanted to do it on the 23rd but I have chemo that day....). I apologize for the visual - however, think of it from MY point of view.... UGH! if only it were just the visual for me.....

Anyway, if he sees anything in there that is obviously cancer, I will then obviously require a hysterectomy - and, presumably, all the other crap that goes along with yet another cancer diagnosis. However, I didn't get into that with him as I am confident he is only going to see the problematic stuff that I know is in there from previous ultrasounds etc. (ie, fibroids). Then there are other options but whatever he said after 'cancer' was kind of all a blur to me - I do remember that he said he was throwing a lot of info at me and he would go over it all again another time. So I guess I won't worry about the other options yet until he sees what's going on.

So that was the bad day part. Only because of how I was feeling - I realize that the news he was giving me isn't bad news - it's only smart to check the worst option first to eliminate it. As scary as that sounds.

the Good News part is that after that appointment, I went to see my plastic surgeon. He was visibly SHOCKED with how well my surgery turned out. And he even said that he was not expecting to have this good a result - didn't even think it was possible. Of course, this was a little disconcerting for me but I was glad to hear he was happy..... If you recall, at my post-radiation appointment, he was unhappy with the location of my expander and felt he could not successfully make an implant work with where the tissue had expanded and was going to build me a breast out of my own tissues from my tummy or back. I balked. Or, as he described it 'I was adamant' that I didn't want that. So the option of replacing the expander was really sort of 'experimental'. However, I didn't realize JUST how experimental it was until after I saw his serious surprise at the great result. He actually THANKED me for forcing his hand because now he knows that is actually an option and because he feels that he will be able to create me a better breast now than if he had used my own tissue. Yay - something finally worked out!!!

When I got home, I had to describe both appointments to Cam. I had a hard time describing my day without melting down, but he was very kind and let me take my time & told me that he would go with me to my biopsy next week. After talking with Cam, I felt much better and was able to start focussing on the good news of the fabulous boobs I'm going to end up with.

FYI - final boob job slated for February. (rough estimate - based on expansion time)